In terms of soul music, nobody can top
the contributions or the pervasive influence of James Brown. He is a living link between
the R&B swing bands and today's rap minimalists. The great soul singers of the middle
and late 60s — and more than a few rockers — took lessons from his early records
and that animalistic scream he called a voice. One of my favorite James Brown songs has
always been
"I Got You (I Feel Good)."
I found myself humming, singing, and
otherwise digging that song all day long. I'm sure you know it well: "Wo! I feel good,
I knew that I wouldn't of. I feel good, I knew that I wouldn't of. So good, so good,
I got you." The reason this song kept reverberating through my head? Simple. I felt
good today. Days like this have been few and far between lately, but a combination
of many far-flung events, medical treatments, and a diligent hope have convinced me
there are many more days like this one to come.
Medications that disagreed with my
body caused great distress in the spring. I've finally found one that agrees with me
in every way. No physical side effects, the desired anti-depressant altering, even
a reduction in my daily cigarette intake. The mental and physical therapy I am
receiving have improved my outlook, and my health. Freedom from pain is a great
relief, whether spiritual, mental, or muscular.
There is a spark of hope in my life
these days. Matters are improving on the professional front. I find myself with more
options and a return of control to my grasp. My self-esteem and self-confidence are
returning slowly, but surely. A large reason for that is the ability to accept love, and
offer it in return. I had been shying from people, even friends with nothing but
my best interest at heart. They loved me; I can recognize that again.
Causes and effects for this day are
firmly planted in my memory. Selfishly, I want more days like today. In this case, it's
okay to be selfish, I deserve a few good turns. Convincing myself that I have earned
happiness and joy hasn't been easy, but another song is playing in my head tonight.
Gloria Estefan introduced it in 1991 following a life-threatening bus accident. The song?
"Coming Out of the Dark."
Just last year, my workstation at home
was in front of a window. Through this window, I would watch the sun come up in the
morning as I woke up, drank my coffee, listened to the husband and dog snore, read my
morning e-mail, touched base with some of my favorite web sites, played with the "pay
attention to me" psycho kitty and fed the turtle.
A few years ago, I walked away from
the old school work world as it expected me to be. I did this to spend 10+ hours a day,
5+ days a week for a new job that I knew I would love. As an Internet hobbyist, I jumped
feet first into the world of Internet and web design. What I became was a middle-aged,
tender gender member and jane of all trades in a testosterone shop of IT junkies.
More recently, I have moved my
workstation to a room without windows and distractions, where the coffee overflows and
the cigarettes are burning away in the ashtray. Real life has intruded into my world.
My multiple play web sites stand neglected and the psycho kitty has defected with a
cult of ragtag wannabees that roam the neighborhood in search of freedom from tyranny.
The husband and the dog still snore, but I now wake up to two special needs children,
my niece and my nephew; both searching for love, consistency and stability from the
often neglectful world they have lived in most of their short lives. My new children
are 10 and 11 and they are now doing sleepovers with friends, baseball, Boy Scouts and
french lessons.
My passions have changed from being excited at the
thought of learning a new graphic program or code, to being excited instead that Shelly
actually slid into home base and scraped her leg; a huge accomplishment for this very
effeminate little lady who has no real self confidence. These children are seeing things
like fireflies for the first time and want to catch a jar full. Their heads are full of
thoughts from the latest Harry Potter book read by the light of bugs at their bedside.
They are catching snowflakes on their tongues in the winter and hiking the beautiful
trails that surround us in the spring.
Thank you Bobbie.
You can catch the rest of Bobbie's essay at the
IB Community.
Wanted to remind everyone of
AORTAL - the anti-portal, a
movement designed to cross-promote the independent web. Support has grown to well
over 100 participants
since AORTAL first launched last month. Following a big surge upon initial
announcement, AORTAL had a bit of a lull in early July. Word continues to spread,
though, as there has been a rebound of new participants in recent days.
Here's a reminder of how it works:
Link to at least one new independent web site each week — more if you can. Use
your site to promote another in the independent web. Write
a review if you like. Tell others who may find you about the great diversity in art,
personal publishing, scientific research, and the spirit of sharing offered by the
original web. Then, grab a button from the sidebar and link back to
http://internetbrothers.com/aortal/
to help spread the word about this movement. It's that simple, and rewarding.
A key phrase in there that I think
some are missing is "one new independent site." If we all continue linking to the
same old sites we know and love, or to the friends in our blogging linky-love list,
then we aren't expanding the breadth of our knowledge. So try to find some new sites,
look a little off the beaten path. You'll be glad you did.
Here is my AORTAL link for this day.
When I first encountered this site, I thought it was all in good fun. As I continued to
read, I discovered this new sport is developing quite a following. Some are even
trying to make it a demonstration sport at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.
